Transvestia

fascinated I was unable to reply as he grinned "hello" and swept by. From that moment I regretted my failure to attend the first meeting of the dramatic society and, filled with envy, I turned away resolving that next year I would be in the play if at all possible. I still have no doubts my love of feminine finery was born in the moment Colin came through the dressing room door. It has re- mained with me ever since and I am now fairly certain it will never leave me as long as I live. Later in the week the whole school attended the first full performance of the play and for every second the actors were on stage I sat entranced, marvelling that those beautiful girls, bringing to life "Shakespear"s wonderful play, were boys just like me.

Each year until I left I put my name forward for a part in the annual play but was never fortunate enough to be chosen. Each time the cast was selected from those who had proved their ability and each time I became more envious of those picked for the female parts. I was ashamed of and could not understand my desire to take the part of a girl and nursed my secret in silence.

Being an only child and leading a very lonely life I was constantly thinking about my strange desire and since my parents usually left me to my own devices I must have had many opportunities to dress in Mother's clothes, but I cannot recall ever having done so. Per- haps it was because I knew she was extremely tidy and would immediately detect any interference and so my secret would be exposed.

Without my knowledge Mr. Briggs and father had discussed my future and they had decided to put my name down at an agricultural college, Mr. Briggs paying the fees. Their idea was that after graduating I would come home and work under father as assistant manager, being trained to take over as manager when he retired in about five years time. He had been promoted at about the time I moved to Grammar school when the estate had been in- creased in size by the purchase of three surrounding farms. Many were the arguments we had when I discovered their proposals. My favourite subject at school was Art and I had hoped to become a draughtsman with vague ideas this would later lead to stage or fashion designing.